Leadership Starts with….YOU!

There are aspects of our everyday world that may make us feel frustrated and powerless, such as the economy and the unemployment rate. No matter how much stress they cause us, they will always be beyond our daily, immediate control.  Simultaneously, on a daily basis there are things in our lives that we can take charge of, such as our attitude and perspective.  During challenging times I find it helpful to conduct an internal audit and I recommend it to everyone I work with. I find that claiming responsibility for the parts of my life that I can control is very empowering. Please see below for some examples of questions I like to ask myself.

Am I eating well?

Am I getting enough sleep? or too much?

Am I exercising regularly? (i.e. walking, running, yoga)

Am I communicating openly?

Am I turning to friends, family and/or co-workers when I have a problem?

Am I investing in my own personal and professional growth?

Am I being honest with myself, friends and family?

Am I truly doing the best that I can?

Do I have a good work/life balance?

Do I have a personal mission statement, or goal?

Do I model the leadership values that are important to me.

Challenges are a part of our everyday life.  If we make a concerted effort to keep ourselves as physically and mentally healthy all of the time, it is that much easier to overcome those challenges (personally, professionally and organizationally) when they arise. Now more than ever, it is paramount to invest in ourselves actively and intentionally by frequently checking in.  Our management, leadership and life skills will all greatly benefit from a regular internal audit. This will reduce the stress that we can control in our lives, and also make each and every one of us a stronger, more contributing member of the team.

With that said, live intentionally, claim responsibility for yourself, lead by example and invest in your team (whether that is at home, work or your community).

If you are interested in booking one of my leadership trainings or keynotes please call 415.948.7725 or email me for more information.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

-John Quincy Adams

6th President of the United States

How to Communicate 101 – The Basics

This is a “How To” list pulled from my Communication 101 workshop, also used in my Teamwork 101, Leadership and Management workshops.

The biggest mistake in communication is assuming that the other person knows what you are talking about. – George Bernard Shaw

How to Communicate 101 – The Basics:

1.     Time – Take the time to build good connections.

2.     Trust – Show up, do what you say going to do, be consistent.

3.     Empathy – Breath and let people have their emotions.

4.     Focus – Pay attention to what people are trying to say

5.     Use listening techniques – Ask questions, give feedback loops and paraphrase. “this is what I hear you saying”, be active.

6.    Patience – Take a breath and let people get it out.

7.     Be open – Be open to other points of view, check your own agenda and care.

8.     Cooperation – Have each other’s back and realize you are working toward the same goal. Both personally and professionally.

9.     Body language – Think about how you are standing and/or sitting. Are your arms crossed? Are you open? Are you active? Do you make eye contact?

10. Face to face – We can’t always be face to face, but for many of the “harder” conversations it is very important.

11. Don’t assume – Try to not to assume that people understand what you are talking about, and what people are trying to communicate. Try to figure out techniques for checking in with people. “Do you understand what Im talking about?” “can you show me”

12. Try to keep feedback positive – Say thank you and let people know they are doing a good job. When you need to give a correction, open with a positive, then give the feedback. For example, “ You have great organizational skills, and you need to work on time management, these are my suggestions.”

Many of the companies that I have started and developed over the years have provided direct service to youth and their families. In addition, over the last eight years, most of the consulting, leadership workshops and keynotes that I have delivered have been marketed to youth oriented organizations. As I explore other markets, and expand my curriculum, I find myself focused on sharing the importance of taking the time to building relationships within all of our organizations, companies and communities. Whether you are a teacher or work for a large corporation, your success is based on how you treat each other. Below is a list of techniques and ideas on how to get a better working relationship with parents. If you don’t work with kids, or those who do, hopefully you can pull some wisdom from the following information.

HOW TO GET A BETTER WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS:

1.   Get to know as many parents as possible and welcome them. During the first week of program, I challenge the youth leaders and teachers to introduce themselves to each parent and say at least one good thing about their child.

2.   See parents as asset; they have valuable information about their children that could be helpful to others trying to work productively with them. ENLIST THEM, THEY HAVE VALUABLE KNOWLEDGE.

3.   It is important to be clear with parents that your observations are professional and not based on something you take personally. Speak in a confident assertive way (“I” statements).

4.   Do not take personally what a parent says. Parents are stressed, and sometimes they can tend to take there “bad day” out on the teacher or youth leader. Try not to let it get to you.

5.   Do not get in a contest about who is right. Do not get sucked into a power struggle or regressive behavior (know your “triggers”). Remember you can agree to disagree.  Don’t get caught up in the “drama”. In fact say no to DRAMA.

6.   Make the parent feel heard (active listening with feed back loops).  “What I hear you saying is….”

7.   Seek their point of view. Again, valuable information

8.   Validate their feelings, even if you don’t believe they are ‘rational’ or warranted, and stay professional semi-detached and focused.  We all have encountered people who we think are irrational, but for that person it is very real. Try to help defuse the situation, rather then escalate it.

9.   Empathize with their struggles.  It’s hard to be a parent.

10.  Be customer service oriented. How can you be helpful…

11.    Speak positively and enthusiastically about the program and their child (don’t wait until things go bad and/or only talk about the negatives).  Every organization has room to improve. The last thing that a parent wants to hear something negative about the program that their child is enrolled in.

12.    Have a ‘back up’ person if possible (2 on 1) Support each other on difficult challenges

13.    Communicate with your supervisor and create documentation as necessary (following policy steps and not waiting too long).  Don’t wait until things are out of hand. Communicate early.

14.   Avoid an audience for your discussion and if talk is too heated wait until it cools down or reschedule. Again, say no to DRAMA!

15.    Heart first- Content second. They must know you care before they care to know.

16.    Treat parents the way you would want to be treated.

17.    Keep everyone informed in a timely manner with a variety of communication techniques.

18.     Set positive goals for each student and make them happen.

19.     Ideal goal: how can we work together to get what we all need and want for your child? (active problem solving and agreements)

20.   Do a good job and believe in yourself.

21.    Assume good intentions (in an imperfect world)

This is just a sample of some of the resources that I have used to develop my workshops. I will continue to list resources related to Leadership, Teamwork, Communication, Stress reduction, Job Training, Workplace wellness, Motivation, Play, Games and Activities and more…

Books:

Good Business: Leadership, Flow, and the Making of Meaning – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Let My People Go Surfing, The Education of a Reluctant Businessman – Yvon Chounard

Healthy Pleasures by Robert Ornstein, PhD and David Sobel, M.D.

Play: How It Sharpens the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Stuart Brown, MD

Fish Tales: Bite-sized stories. Unlimited Possibilities by Stephen C. Lundin, PhD, John Christensen and Harry Paul.

Web Articles:

Laughter is the Best Medicine: The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter by Melinda Smith, MA, Gina Kemp, Ph.D and Jeane Segal, PhD

www.helpguide.org

Laughter is the “The Best Medicine” for Your Heart by Michelle W. Murray

University of Maryland Medical Center – http://www.umm.edu/features/laughter.htm

Cross Cultural Humor

www.humorpower.com

Cynical Humor Directed Towards Patients, it is Mostly about the Culture by Dr. Shock, MD, PhD

http://www.shockmd.com/2009/01/06/cynical-humor-directed.htm

Give Your Body a Boost – With Laughter by Morgan Griffin

http://woman.webmd.com/guide/give your-your-body-boost-with-laughter.htm

Websites:

The Humor Project, INC 518.587.8770 www.humorproject.com

Association for Therapeutic Humor www.aath.org

Experiential Education www.experientialeducator.com

Kaplan Companies 800.334.2014 www.kaplan.com

FISH Philosophy www.fishphilosphy.com

Association for Experiential Education www.aee.org

AND OF COURSE… www.ezraholland.com

TOP 10 TIPS

• Establish a team vision
• Build trust with others
• Believe in your own self worth
• Practice common leadership skills
• Help each other be right rather than wrong
• Help each other win – take pride in each other’s accomplishments
• Speak positively about each other and about your organization at every opportunity
• Do everything with enthusiasm – it is contagious
• Believe in what you are doing – never give up
• Have fun – communicate that fun to others

AND REMEMBER…

P.A.C.E. – Positive Attitude Changes Everything

T.E.A.M. – Together Everyone Achieves More

This is your new post.

Welcome to Ezra Holland Consulting blog. Ezra has delivered thousands of leadership workshops, events and keynotes, and is always working on writing or shooting video projects based on personal growth and leadership. Please check back soon to find out what Ezra has been up to.